Most of life is not Arrival- Most of life is Travel. Most of life is not Being- it’s Becoming…

Hello lovely people!

I wanted to share a topic that can be a struggle for some people in all walks of life. It’s when we compare ourselves to others. Now there are two sides to the equation. One way can be comparing yourself to others thinking that you are better or better off than them, the other is when you believe a person has elevated higher than you and you will never reach their status. Both are wrong.

I have been to countries where the people have little to nothing and live in abject poverty, but they are so happy. They wouldn’t trade places with me even though I make 5-10 times their annual income. So why compare? It won’t improve your well-being or productivity- it does the opposite. I’ve found we compare ourselves to many people, but most are in these categories:

Comparison between friends and family

Comparison between colleagues

Comparison between influencers

It could be that some family members or friends have a bigger house than we do, or has more degrees. Maybe our colleagues are climbing up the corporate ladder faster than we are or getting a higher bonus though we work just as hard as them. And finally, influencers whether they are popular, rich, and famous- we sometimes want their success or their looks. What we fail to realize is we don’t know what it took for them to get in the stage of life they are in. Some have sacrificed a lot. Though I continue to battle thoughts of comparing myself to others, here is what has helped me.

Have an attitude of gratitude

There is always something to be thankful for. Health, family, children, and friendships to name a few. Just because your paycheck, house, or body is not where you want it to be, that doesn’t mean it has to stay in its current state. It will take work on your part. In the process though, be thankful for what’s going right. For the things going wrong, remember it will come to pass. It’s temporary. If you set goals and stay motivated, things may come faster than you expected.

Enjoy the journey

You must remember that some people started building their foundations years before you. So they have a bit of a head start. In the meanwhile, your journey should be as awesome as you want it to be. Have fun during the process. If you are building a business, maybe go to a conference where you can meet some really cool people and hear their journey. It may be very similar to yours and you can encourage each other.

Remove the visuals

If you get discouraged when you log into Facebook or Instagram because you see a friend flaunting their new car or going on vacation, then it’s probably time to take a break from social media. It’s also good to remember that at times people post lies, truths, and half-truths on social media. Delete the apps on your phone or computer and take the time to look at something beautiful like paintings, a butterfly garden, or historical sites.

Humble thyself

When I feel “a certain type of way” about someone, I do something nice for them or cheer them on. It helps to keep me humble. It’s the humble that gets grace. Instead of comparing, let’s celebrate their successes. Even ask how they got to their current position in life. You’ll find that they will do the same when your turn comes around.

Know your measure

I do believe that everyone has the ability to become successful. I also believe that everyone’s level or view of success is different. Don’t try to be someone else, be the best you. One person may be called to millions, some thousands, some hundreds, and some just a few. Whatever you are called to, do it to the best of your ability. It will shift your focus to your purpose and not the other person.

I hope this post is helping someone out there. What has helped you or a loved one stop the comparison game?